5 posts from June 2009

First, let me send my most heartfelt prayers to those families who's celebrities are now on the path to their next life. And prayers to anyone else who lost a loved one 

But, I will say that Farrah Faucet kind of got a raw deal. And she was battling a deadly disease. I'm not so sure that MJ should have trusted those closest around him quite so much. But what do I know.

So, did you notice the "D.A.M. News and reviews" up top. Well, those are my initials. I pass along news going on here and I give my own viewpoints.
I've been really faithful about taking the meds. And I do find I am enjoying things I haven't in quite a few years. Playing with a child at the shoreline. You know running back and forth as the waves come in and go out. I felt so good. All those wonderful memories flooded in of my own kids as they enjoyed playing silly games with Mom.
Wishing that my daughter had visited longer. She was correct in saying I'm different.. Was like getting a new mom. Things went that well.
Realizing that doing my beadwork/crochet is an "art". Plus, finding that wonderful ideas for necklaces have been creeping into my head.
Life is better now. My flowers look wonderful. Inside my home is comfy, and decorated well. I still have some frames to get, but wait for the sales at places. LOL Yes, I can be that patient.
Also, I do get out more than I was. Finally getting some PT and pain meds, have got me planning my summer day trips. Yea!!!!!!!!! Laguna Beach art shows andThe OC Fair.

It was cool and cloudy here this am til noonish. So, if you are going to any of our beaches, bring a light wrap of some sorts.

After a tad over of a year of therapy for clinical depression, I am a lot closer to who and what I am. I was so angry after my Mother passed, even my husband would call me "Bad Deborah". The meds help too, but the talking with Therese has opened up several "dark" areas. Mostly it was about being alone. Most of my survival skills come from childhood. What memories I have being alone was a biggy. I was a latch-key kids. Come home for lunch, make it myself, call my mother at work, then go back to school. Now, mind you this was grade school. I remember Mother telling me she would get me up, dressed, fed, and then she would lay me back down on the couch with the alarm clock to go off when I was suppose to go to school. A lot of my survival skills came from a violent father. I had a rich "fantasy" life then as I keep the really scary and bad stuff behind really thick mental walls. Not ready to look at those yet. I do have a serious problem with trust. That is why I do shy away from people.
I enjoy doing my gardens, beadwork and crochet. Those really help me to "stay on track"-mentally. I am not good with crowds, or social functions ether. I just never know how to act or do that small talk stuff. And with talking I now can see that I can work on my beadwork or crochet without feeling like I should be doing houework or chores first. It is difficult to realize I am an artist/craftsperson.
As far as letting people help me, that is what we are working on now . . .   

I'm going to start work on a new Tapestry crochet purse, pattern from Carol Ventura. Titled, "Right Way Market bag".
From Crochet-World Magazine April 2009

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